Written by Brother Steve Cecil specially for:
"Debauchery in the Desert" - 2022 Archania Reunion
​
Tonight we gather as Archites again
To hoist a few and make amends
For all the years without so much
As a card or a call to stay in touch
Tonight we gather with reckless abandon
To unclench our brains, for “Let’s Go Brandon”
We gather together for COVID-19
The biggest shit show the world’s ever seen
Tonight we gather together as friends
To slap some backs and Roar again
To talk about work and kids and cars
To scratch our balls and smoke cigars
Tonight we gather because we can
Face to face & man to man.
What would you rather be doing instead?
In twenty years we’ll all be dead
Tonight we gather like crows on a wire
Like cat’s pulling chestnuts out of the fire
We amuse ourselves and one another
Like we’ve always done as brothers
Tonight we gather to polish the mirror
But the reflection doesn’t seem to get any clearer
So we bitch about taxes and lament the Dow
And reconnect as grown-ups now
Tonight we gather with rhyme and reason
To celebrate that special season
Where the coach, the catcher the runners the batters
The team, the sport – none of it matters
Tonight we gather, if we’ve got the mobility
To relive the days when we were nobility
We gather together to retell the story
Of Roaring Archites in Days of Glory
Tonight we gather together, Dear Lord
Please help us not to go overboard
Not streak in the hotel, not sing Karaoke
Not spend the night in the Palm Springs Pokey
Tonight we gather like next of kin
Tall and short, fat and thin
Gray and balding, deaf in one ear
Hell – even Scot Cunningham is here! (ad lib)
Tonight we gather together Sweet Jesus
Sincerest apologies to anyone who sees us
Puke in the fairway or pee on the green
Or peel one off in the ball machine
Tonight we gather like dogs in the yard
To play like we played before life got so hard
We forgive old grudges, we bury the hatchet
We chase the rabbit, we never catch it
Tonight we gather together as bros
To drink and snort things up our nose
To party so hard and long it hurts
To comfort girls who’ve lost their shirts
Tonight we gather for wives who are harried
For kids who graduate, then get married
For all the burdens that each of us carried
& divorces for reasons both multi & varied
Tonight we gather from coast to coast
To joke and laugh, to golf and boast
To act like roosters without our hens
To stuff g-strings with fives and tens
Tonight we gather to lie like crooks
About how wonderful everyone looks
To whip out snaps of trophy spouses
And fabricate vacation houses
Tonight we gather together at last
To relive a time that passed so fast
When life was simpler and we were bolder
And couldn’t believe we’d ever get older
Tonight we gather for UOP
For a keg on the roof, for ‘shrooms in a tree
In the arms of someone who’d always adore us
With nothing but the rest of our lives before us
Tonight we gather for teachers and tutors
And school before we all had computers
For Blue Books at the Student Store
And GPAs that stopped at 4
Tonight we gather for Shower Raids
For Fire Trucks in Homecoming Parades
Down that ladder for Fireman’s Fling
And into the Circle to chant and sing
Tonight we gather for the House Meeting
For an intramural game where you end up bleeding
For a House Take-Over, a Scavenger Hunt
A South Stockton stripper with a tattooed cunt
Tonight we gather for volleyball
For a waterfall running right down the hall
For stealing whatever we thought we could use
For a Ding Session where we decide the D.U.s
Tonight we gather for beers at Dad’s Point
For a dump on the Delta with a dime and a joint
For an Eye Fuck, a Fish Net, a full Goody Box
For a Gasline on Hellnight with Gorp on our cocks
Tonight we gather for Heat-of-the-Week
For a Day on the Green, too rummy to speak
For crooning our favorite songs on the porch
For icing a bong, for passing a torch
Tonight we gather to remember and tell
Of the Fish Bowl, the Flag Pole, the Emergency Bell
The Dress Dinner, the Open Bar, & the Band Frolic
The Teeter-Totter, Culture Night, the Drops Atomic
Tonight we gather as Archania
We knew how to entertain ya
We didn’t give a damn about who we offended
And we partied our ass off before it all ended
Tonight we gather to stand united
Convicted without ever being indicted
Guilty of nothing but the victimless crime
Of burning our candle both ends at a time
Tonight we gather to mourn our charter
Because that just makes us all try harder
To never let them rubber stamp us
Archites ruled this fucking campus
Also tonight we gather for the knowledge
We weren’t even taught in college
When unencumbered of job or wife
We plunged head-long into life
Tonight we gather for those who have died
But mostly for those who now stand by our side
One forty-five-year friend, I think you will find
Is worth more than 45 one-year friends combined
